Ramblings
Family
To my son pt. 2
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When my son, Bailey, was born, I didn’t realize what exactly I had looking back at me from within my arms. It took the better part of a year to wrap my brain around the fact that I am now a father. I expect and hope for him to learn from me and my examples and how I’ve lived. To my surprise, my son has shown me a lot in his brief two years with me – perhaps more so than I’ve shown him.
Every time I am with my son, he reiterates within me all that is good, decent and right in my world. Being only two years old, he doesn’t yet know the inner workings of human emotion and as such, his emotions are true and untarnished. The term “dad” can mean a lot to some or nothing at all to others but when I catch Bailey’s gaze and get a smile followed by “hi daddy”, it means the world to me. He looks at me expecting nothing but for me to love him unconditionally and with all my heart which is the easiest part of my job as a father.
I’m not much of a religious person but seeing the perfect little miracle I helped create leads me to believe that someone cared about me enough to bestow upon me the best gift I’ve ever received these past 28 years. If my purpose in life is nothing else, it’s to take what I’ve been given and help him grow as only a father can. I’ve been entrusted with a life not my own and I have a responsibility to make that life the best I possibly can.
The bond I have with my son transcends anything I’ve had with anyone else – including my own father. I feel everything he feels be it good or bad. He may not be able to articulate his thoughts just yet but I know what’s going on in his mind with a simple look into his innocent eyes. If only it were possible, I’d bear any and all of the pain and hurt that life holds in store for him while letting him reap the joys of being happy. But alas, all I can do is teach him how to overcome obstacles and be a stronger person for it.
Never will there come I time where my son doesn’t come first. Regardless if he’s a few miles away or halfway across the world, I’ll never be out of his reach. I’ll pick him up when he falls and be the first to praise him on the achievements and accomplishments he will have earned in his lifetime. I can already see within him that he is a wonderful person and as he grows, I hope others are able to experience the unsurpassed happiness he has brought to me.
One day, I’ll be able to tell him and he will be able to understand that I’m so proud of him for simply being my son.
Bailey Ray Clark
0My grandpa was born June 11th of 1931 and passed December 1st of 2010. He was a husband, father, grandfather as well as a great grandfather to my son. Additionally, he was a veteran of the Korean conflict and a 32nd degree Mason. Fishing, golfing and spending time with his family were amongst his favorite past times.
I have an infinite amount of memories from my grandpa but I have a few favorites that I’d like to share.
When I was maybe four or five years old, Grandpa started teaching me how to swing a golf club. He took an old driver that he had and cut it down to little-guy size for me. We went into his back yard and he gave me a few balls to hit. He showed me the basics of how to swing and let me take it from there. I whiffed the first few swings which made Grandpa chuckle and me get mad. The next attempt I made sent a Titleist sailing into the neighbors yard narrowly missing a window. Grandpa promptly took my new driver away and he decided we had better go to the range after that.
I had gone fishing with Grandpa ever since I could walk and that was my favorite thing in the world to do with him. We had gone charter fishing for Walleye at Lake Erie several times and one year we went with a group of his buddies. We had a little contest going to see who could catch the biggest fish. There was no prize, just the pride of the biggest catch and bragging rights for the day along with some good eats. After about six hours, we came back to port and took inventory of the days catch. Low and behold, out of all the guys that went, I caught the biggest fish. Or so I was told… I don’t know if I really did or if Grandpa told me I did to make me happy but either way, the smile on his face is one I’ll always remember.
Finally, the last thing I want to say would probably make him the happiest. When I knew that his great grandchild was going to be a baby boy, I knew I had to pay him a visit. We were sitting in the kitchen casually talking as we often did when I told him I was going to have a son. He asked if I knew what the name would be and I said I did. Grandpa asked what it would be so I looked him square in the eye and simply said “Bailey”. He had a puzzled look on his face and I then told him his great grandson was going to be named after him. God love my grandpa, all he could say in response was “why?” I can’t remember exactly how I explained it but I had made a promise to myself ever since I knew I wanted children that if I ever had a son, he was going to be named after Grandpa. He was never fond of the name Bailey but I think his feelings on the subject changed once I told him that. He lit up every time he saw little Bailey and he always called him “Bailey the Great”.
My Grandpa means more to me than I can ever express and anything I can do to honor him means everything to me. He always said that I had a lot of Ray Clark in me. I never really understood that until I realized that the way I am with my son is the same way he was with me. My grandpa is the most amazing man I’ve known in my life and he will carry on through me and his great grandson.